Transparency

by Eric Ayotte

supported by
/
  • Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

    There are physical copies of this record on CD and Vinyl.

     name your price

     

  • Record/Vinyl

    LP version with mixed color vinyl. European orders can be placed with Pike Records as well here:
    pikerecords.bigcartel(dot)com/product/eric-ayotte-transparency-lp
    Postage is crazy expensive. You can order them from me, but I would have to charge quite a bit to cover it.
    Canadians: also very expensive, sorry I have to charge so much for shipping.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Transparency via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days

     $10 USD or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD)

    CD version of Transparency. Gatefold card case. Lyrics printed on the inside.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Transparency via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days

     $5 USD or more

     

1.
01:48
2.
3.
4.
03:25
5.
6.
03:28
7.
8.
9.
02:51
10.
11.
03:04
12.
04:55

about

Transparency was written from a place with a lack of trust in people, institutions, and myself. I’ve been feeling overwhelmingly anxious and stressed with how people interact and communicate. It’s an attempt to be more open and honest, and wanting more clarity, accountability, and genuine interactions from my friends, my government, my culture/society, and myself.

credits

released June 18, 2014

Eric Ayotte - Guitar, Vocals, Bass (1,7,10)
Ricardo Martins - Drums
Matt Romy - Keys
Mitchell Duncan - Bass
Charlie Jones - Backup Vocals

Drums recorded at Golden Pony Studios in Lisbon, Portugal. Everything else recorded at Rhino’s All Ages Club in Bloomington, IN. Mixed and mastered by Gary Whelpdale at The Witching Well.

Artwork by Ricardo Martins

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Eric Ayotte Bloomington, Indiana

Eric Ayotte currently lives in Bloomington, IN where he hosts a weekly dodgeball game, a monthly short movie challenge, and raging keggers at his place. His songwriting is urgent and sincere, filled with nostalgia, vulnerability, and political undertones. ... more

contact / help

Contact Eric Ayotte

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Midas Touch
Why does everything I touch turn to rust? With all the promises of gold, they're all foolish I know, but it's hard not to believe that maybe I'm in between, and just over that hill is a cure to all that ails. Maybe someday. And it's too much that I've made it such that every time this lesson's learned I feel something in my stomach burn for forgiveness. I've been awake for a thousand years, but I've not taken notes. So all these lessons are for not. All I've learned I forgot. And I've made mistakes. Honestly I know I'm a mess, and I don't blame you for running, because I've tied your shoes. This is my own destitute.
Track Name: Get To Stepping
I’ve been looking out my window again.  Hoping to catch your reflection.  I’ve had ideas about my later days, but as they come and go, I lay and wait for the revelations to knock me on my feet again.  One by one and I’ll get to steppin’.  Lacking motivation like most I know.  We are our own enemies.  Responsibility is deflected away.  We feel entitled to our share of the take.  Until the revelations come, knock me on my feet again.  One by one and I’ll get to steppin’.  Stomping hard as we go, like we got something to prove.  The world is ours to own, or at least that’s what they told you.  So we’ll take comfort in the fact that we can always look back.  Until the revelations come, knock me on my feet again.  One by one and I’ll get to steppin’.
Track Name: Annual Demented State
Winter arrives on the backs of our insanity.  Pushing away every positive thought I have inside of me.  So I’m moving along, wasting time again, and I’m waiting on encouraging thoughts from a caring friend that may never come.  The sun’s unreliable again, and I’m afraid I may never have the strength to see it through this tiny break in my shades, as I assume there’s nothing out there anyway.  Cumbersome with a lack of productivity.  Feeling the weight of my own lethargic body.  As my days get long, I’m wasting time again, and I’m waiting on encouraging thoughts to come in my head, but they never come.  I’m unreliable again, and I’m afraid I may never have the chance to get to all these tasks on my plate.  As I’ll be doomed before I ever get it straight.  The sun may rise, but it never shines this way.  Like a ballerina trapped in their jewelry box cage, waiting on someone’s special day.  A time for dancing.  And the moon may shine it’s beautiful face.  Smiling on everyone’s great mistakes.  Followed by tidal waves.  This annual demented state.
Track Name: You Alone
Sometimes I feel so tired I just can’t get nothing don’t.  I try to feel okay about where I am and what I’ve done, but I’m just not fooling anyone.  Because on paper it seems like I’ve lived what I’ve dreamed.  But, then reality screams, “with every step you take, I will reveal that life is a series of mistakes and small accomplishments, and you alone...that have any choice in how you proceed”.  It’s hard to feel like what I’ve done has an affect on anyone.  I try to feel like what I do, in some small way will contribute.  To stay relevant to you. So tell the ones that you love everything you feel, but weren’t allowed.  Life is a series of decisions made and the time it takes.  And you alone, it’s you alone that has any choice on how you proceed.
Track Name: And Yet, Here We Are
It's only a matter of time before it turns internal, breaking from the inside.  Like a cancer dormant waiting to mess with your life.  Selfishly they want to stand above you on your knees.  I've heard it all amounts to nothing if you don't learn enough about the subject.  You'll be unwelcome here.  The sun burns if you don't even touch it.  It lurks underneath the surface waiting to cause you pain.  They're out for blood, or so it seems.  Their angers all encompassing, and it's ready to blow.  Some folks are choosing sides.  but you're the only one that makes them have to decide.  There's so much power in the fear that comes from your lies.  You're spreading hatred like it's gospel, and so it seems we've lost before it's even started.  No one gets what they want.  We're all just consumed by fear.  I'm just scared of where you'll take it.  No one care's for complication, so we're left alone.  I never thought I'd have to prove my character to most of you, yet here we are, where opinions are strong.  Even though no one knows anything about anybody else.
Track Name: Chen
You lost your mind before you died, and I’m not sure if that eases mine.  Knowing that you weren’t aware when they put that needle into you.  The nurse came in and told me it was time.  I was shaking, I was crying.  Watching the life leave your eyes.  Dear friend of mine.  It seemed so selfish of me to be thinking about money.  How much would I pay if you were a human being?  I’d go in debt, I’d miss the rent, I’d try all that I could to save your life.  But then, I watched you die.  Dear friend of mine.  Bag on my bed, I see you.  Creaking doors, I hear you.  Resting blankets I feel you.  Coming home, I expect you.  The nurse came in, told me it was time.  I was shaking, I was crying.  But then, I watched you die.  Dear friend of mine.
Track Name: Prove It Bartholdi
Bring us your tired. So they’re easier to catch, and release. Pull the hook out of their mouths. Brings us your poor, and huddle them into small forgotten space. Yearning to breathe this air that is reported to be free.  Breathe in Breathe out. We've got you now. Nowhere to run. This is not your home.  Factory, where would you be without the poor. Your machines would cease to yield productivity. CEO what do you know about a hard days work? Your hands are clean.  Day in day out. Workers in route. To fulfill the needs of our American dreams.  It's done all for your family. Well, we'll never know about that. All we know's what can be, and the negatives attached. So we'll build this wall, deciding for all just where we stand. Some may come, while others may never touch this land.
Track Name: Honesty, Honestly
When I was much younger I believed in most everything that you said.  My eyes were full of wonder.  Filling up with thoughts in my head.  If I were you I wouldn’t change a thing I do, because I’d know it was truly from the heart.  Your motto “just stay the course,” as I comply.  Now I am much older, and I have learned a thing or too.  But yet still I wonder.  Constant pursuit of the truth.  And I have found not much has changed since then and now, and I’ve learned that from you.  So patiently, my motto “just wait and see,” as I comply.  I would believe anything that comes from your mouth this time.  So won’t you please speak to me without any doubt for what you have to say.  Because some would believe in this altered reality, and I am just thirsting for true transparency.  Honesty, honestly.
Track Name: Patrimony
Well they’ve known all along, the big difference between right and wrong, in the intentions that precede.  The “go ahead” and actions made with full awareness to the mess they make, and the lives put on the line.  But the money flows, and hatred grows as we’re all looking down, with misplaced anger, to the lower class and the other skin colors.  While we’re all looking upwards with envy.  Well I’ve grown through all this mess and my conditioning reflects it with the roles we’re forced to play.  To be a man, thicken your skin, because you don’t want anyone to know.  There’s so many ways to explain yourself, but the words, they won’t come out easy these days.  You got blood on your name, and you’re doing the same, but you got nothing to say.
Track Name: Quick To Quote
Summer comes and winter goes.  Only heaven knows, or at least that’s what we’re told.  You’re driven by need, your need to know, so you’re quick to read.  Quicker to quote.  But you don’t really know.  Some might say they’ve got it all figured out.  So they live their lives with an absence of doubt, and they tell the world what the world needs to know.  Like it or not, it will all be put on show.  But you don’t really know the reasons we’re alive, or the dawn of time.  I might fear for what happens when we die as long as I’m alive.  Our biggest blessing is our biggest curse.  Inside our heads where synapses will burst, causing grand ideas of superiority.  Whether it be race, species, or sexuality, you don’t really know the reasons we’re alive.  But you don’t need proof who you are when you bleed.  It’s just you only, seeing what you want to see.  Whatever keeps you clean.  Springing forward, falling behind, the clock is ticking, the answer soon you’ll find.  You may regret your life, but I hope I don’t mine.
Track Name: Big Bully
Somewhere along the way, you weren’t shown how to participate.  Doors only open to long hallways.  And, it goes on and on.  It keeps on going on.  You only get the supporting role.  Decisions made out of your control.  Breaking through seems impossible.  And, it goes on and on.  It keeps on going on.  But someone’s bound to hear your voice someday, so you might as well let you heart ring out.  Your voice was meant to be heard, so let it ring out.  I know my voice can dominate, and I don’t mean to take the space I take.  It just comes so naturally.  I hope I get to learn someday, the extent to which I played part in this medieval game.  And I remember a time when they said this world was mine.  Anything I can dream I can achieve.  The same story’s been told to every boy that’s born.  Apparent heir to the throne.  But now I’m the wall that stands in front of you.  Big bully.
Track Name: Moving On
I started crying as I drove this old Aries from my hometown for the first time.  My parents were close behind.  There's something about knowing you aren't coming back that brings a tear to your eye.  Then again, almost 10 years later, I was leaving my new home for the last time.  After a few months of losing my mind.  Something about knowing you have to move on, that brings a tear to your eye.  Starting over's not so easy without a plan.  No direction, just a road map in my hand.  The legends all wrong.  As I was driving my old Jeep Cherokee, just the right song came on.  Made me feel like I was wrong.  Something about knowing love is truly gone, brings a tear to your eye.  I spent many days behind the wheels of my vehicle trying hard to find a place that was truly mine.  Something about knowing you don't feel at home, brings a tear to your eye.  Starting over when the feeling’s gone.  Moving on.